there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
