Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
