He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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