So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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