i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
