The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
