If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
