I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
