i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
