Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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