No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
