I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
