Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
