my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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