tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
