Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
