It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
