i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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