I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
