im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
its not stalking. its research.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
