it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
