Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
