U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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