you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
