I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
