I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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