my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
