i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
