Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
