Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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