just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
