literally had 100 drinks last night.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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