dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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