thus making me awesome and them whores
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize