Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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