Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Its about making memories worth repressing
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
try to milk me bitch
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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