so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize