better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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