You're so nebulous sometimes
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
