Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
