ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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