So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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