im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
