He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
