Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
