Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
