lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
