Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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