In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
