we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
