dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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