remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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