Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
