Don't you send me to vm
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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