Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
