I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
