Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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