Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
