Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize