Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
it glows. i had to have it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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