I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
