Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
