So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize