Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
