Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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