they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
