I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
