I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
