Im at strip club and am horny
i don't like sucking hair
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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