Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my liver is dry heaving
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize