i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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