Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
