glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just took my morning after pill in the library
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
