Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
