so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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