i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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