Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
